Let me be clear, I'm the same person I was 7 hours ago. There's no switch that gets changed inside of you that makes you older, wiser, more mature, etc over the course of a night. The toiling was (or at least should have) done already throughout your 20's. I say that because I know firsthand how confusing that period of your life can be. You're getting so much thrown at you that you were not prepared for (we do a poor job in preparing kids for adulthood) on top of realizing that almost everything you learn from your birth through your teens were either lies, half truths, or just a lot more complex than originally painted. These things are deeply rooted within us and it is challenging to change our frame of thinking from all the concepts we were conditioned to believe. It gets better as long as you're able to keep advancing forward. I don't say that nonchalantly, because I'm aware how arduous progressing forward can be. You are going to fail so many times over and over, but that resiliency you gain is priceless as it will become one of your greatest strengths. Right now I feel more confident in myself than ever and it's partially because I grew from my failures and shortcomings. Everyone has fears they never want to come to fruition. I don't want to be pessimistic but a lot of things you dread will occur. That's also why I'm more confident in myself and my choices because once the things you feared happening to you actually happen, it changes how you think and removes some of that fear going forward (this isn't a blanket statement, I realize there are many instances where this might not apply). I was voted most likely to be a millionaire in high school (sorry for letting my New Bern High School Class of '07 folks down so far lol) and I put a lot of pressure on myself career wise to be successful. Not being hired, passed over for promotions, being unemployed or underemployed were all things I dreaded and despite my efforts all of those things came to be. It took a great deal of personal reflection and at times it affected how i viewed myself and leaked into my personal life . Ultimately it led me to being the person I am right now and all my toiling and anguish was not in vain.
People that know me know that sports have played an integral role in my life. I'll leave you all with this example. In 2011 vs the Mavericks, LeBron James had his greatest failure. He finally had a team that could be considered favorites, had other great players that were producing and individually he failed on the highest level. That was his biggest fear as an athlete and a lot of "experts" questioned his greatness, his heart (the worst for an athlete), and his ability to lead and ultimately win. Well 8 years later, there's legitimate debate of whether he's greater than Michael Jordan (BTW I'm with Jordan lol). He considers the Mavericks series a turning point for himself because after his worst professional fears came to be, there was nothing more for him to be fearful of. He turned that into his confidence, knowing that as long as he played his hardest he could live with the results. That fueled him to milestone after milestone and now his name is mention with THE GOAT. It's not my intention to downplay what people have or will go through, and I'm well aware that everything cannot and will not be as "rosy" as this. BUT I do want people to know that as long as they believe in themselves and their loved ones (YOUR SUPPORT SYSTEM IS EVERYTHING) and keep pushing forward everyday that amazing things will happen to you. Dream Big and don't get too down on yourself because you're not where you want to be at this exact moment. No one can predict how life will go, not even you. If your 20's are anything like mine and I have reasons to believe that it will be, you will question and doubt yourself and go through many obstacles. It's a transformative process and the beautiful butterfly or swan that you will be transformed to is waiting on the other end.
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| Me Over The Years |
